BUSINESS NEIGHBOR

Patti Harada, Grief and trauma counselor

If you kicked one of her two Bichon Frise dogs, Patti Harada would probably be OK with it. 

That doesn't mean she doesn't respect animals. It's just that the 53-year-old Midtown resident is all about forgiveness. 

She teaches people how to forgive — even for acts that seem unpardonable, such as murder, abuse and infidelity. 

Harada runs Love Matters, a one-on-one grief and trauma counseling business, out of her home. She also teaches two seminars a week. 

"The prevailing model (of forgiveness) says put aside the pain. How do you do that when somebody's murdered your child?'' Harada asks. 

Harada teaches people to "require good care,'' rather than "demand'' it, and to attract the type of folks who can furnish them with it. 

It sounds like the stuff of mystical, turban-clad swamis, but Harada teaches from experience. 

She survived a bad marriage; a chronically ill, alcoholic mother; and a father absorbed with taking care of Mom. ''About 25 years ago, I was doing a lot of therapy and I wasn't getting better,'' Harada said. 

''One afternoon, I was lying on my bedroom floor crying. I realized I had to take over the job of giving me love because it looked like no one else would. I gave and gave and gave and gave, and I never got anything back.'' 

Harada caters to folks of varying religious views: Catholics, Jews, Protestants. 

"This sounds like a recipe for narcissism,'' one Jewish client told Harada. But his rabbi didn't object. 

Christian fundamentalists tell her that God, not her clients, is the one who's supposed to love them. 

Catholics first check with their priests. 

"Patti's helped me to understand what it is to accept myself and not fight the aspects of myself that I previously judged unacceptable," said Donna Johns, a nine-month client of Harada's. "The ultimate goal for me is, then, to be able to extend that out to other people." 

Harada charges $50 an hour for counseling and $5 a head for her Wednesday night lectures. She charges no more for the lectures so everyone will be able to afford it. 

Harada began college in her late 40s. She graduated from the University of Arizona summa cum laude with a degree in psychology and a minor in gerontology. She's pursuing a doctorate from Saybrook Graduate Institute in San Francisco. 

"I decided I wanted a credential so I would have some clout in the professional counseling community," she said. Harada can be reached at 886-6046, by e-mail at patti@azstarnet.com or at www.lovematters.net. 

Reporter Scott Scholten can be reached at 573-4083 or by e-mail at scholten@azstarnet.com. 

To nominate a "Business Neighbor" send a one-page, typewritten letter to the Arizona Daily Star, Midtown Neighbors, Attn: RuthAnn Hogue, Neighbors Editor, P.O. Box 26807, Tucson, AZ 85726-6807.