"Forgiving
is supposed to be about self lovingly releasing resistance to the pain
of your injury
and
allowing yourself to feel reverence for yourself in your pain.
It is NOT about freeing the injurer!"
COMING UP in FUTURE WEEKS:All of these two-hour lectures are taped and available by mail All lectures are held in the University of Arizona Medical Center, in DuVal Auditorium, on Wednesday nights from 7 to 9 pm unless otherwise stated.
January 2, 2002: Reverence for the future: The Grace of Intent
The end of the year, and the onset of the holy days of unity, caring and sharing, bring with them an intense awareness of what we’ve lost, how far we’ve come and how far we’ve not come.
Regrets of missed opportunities, mistakes made by ourselves and by others, and plain old bad luck, clutter our views of ourselves and our views of what life has to offer us, and can leave us believing we’ve no where to go, and setting us up to misconstrue the future as either an opportunity to achieve perfection, or a potential repeat of the losses of our past.
In this week’s lecture, Patti Harada, will summarize the philosophy of having reverence for pain and suffering as a value to be revered, and will talk about how to go about it in a health-promoting, self-loving manner that takes us out of the gibberish mentality of phony spirituality and into the grounded reality of living, growing, changing and loving unconditionally.
January 9, 2002: Chronic Relationship Conflicts
Chronic relationship conflicts can be brutal to any hope of a peaceful life. Our attachment to each other – or more accurately, the way in which we attach to each other – is shown in extensive epidemiological research to be the most important factor in our physical and emotional health.
As we age – and as we grow emotionally, intellectually and spiritually – we are often drawn into conflict about the rightness of staying in, and the wrongness of leaving, the primary relationships in our lives.
One view of therapy and set of self-help books leaves us wondering if we’re avoiding our healing by staying. The next set can make us wonder if we’re avoiding our lessons by leaving.
How do you know? How do you avoid making a costly mistake? How does one know what "the lesson" is, and how do you get the courage to know it and live it?
This seminar presents a biological / spiritual view of the lessons of women and men, and offers a view of ourselves as women and as men that can both refresh our ideas of who we are and who we might want to be in relation to the world around us.
January 16, 2002: Side Effects of lossThis seminar gives us a chance to talk about the complications of trauma, including shame, anger, resentment, depression and chronic misery.
We talk about all of these side effects as normal aspects of grieving trauma and loss that are valuable and which provide the potential for life changing experiences.
In this week’s seminar, we will focus on specific ways to go about giving these powerful feelings a place of honor in our lives, and talk about how to make a companionate relationship with them so that the experience of pain remains healing and constructive instead of degrading to the quality of our day to day existence.
January 23, 2002: Reverence for our Grief
Trauma brings with it an intense awareness of what we’ve lost, and a deep fear that we’ll never find a way to repair the rips in the fabric of our lives so that we can make a place of contentment for the future.
Regrets of missed opportunities, mistakes made by ourselves and by others, and plain old bad luck, clutter our views of ourselves and our views of what life has to offer us, and can leave us believing we’ve nowhere to go.
In this week’s seminar, we will summarize the philosophy of having reverence for pain and suffering as a value to be revered, and will talk about how to go about it in a health-promoting, self-loving manner that takes us out of the gibberish mentality of phony spirituality and into the grounded reality of living, growing, changing and loving unconditionally.
January 30, 2002: When someone you love won't get help
When you are a sensitive and caring person, and you've spent some time in life working on your own issues, you become painfully aware of the manifestation of self hatred, denial, rationalizations and self justification others. You literally find yourself watching those around you destroying their lives.
Often our best efforts at giving aid to those we love produces friction in our relationships and a head strong resistance in our loved ones to anything we have to offer. It may create the loneliest feeling in the world, as you surmise that the more you heal the less likely it is you'll be able to stick around and watch the spiral downward.
Come join Patti Harada as she talks about the difference between "co-dependency" and healthy, natural caring that promotes healthy relationships.
February 6, 2002: Forgiving: What it is; what it isn't
Each week, through one avenue or another, we discuss Patti Harada's Meta Ego model of achieving a state of forgiveness.
We are devoting the first lecture of each month this year to studying various models of the forgiving process with an emphasis on what is healthy and what requires careful observation to eliminate the dangerous potential for self harm that can happen to those suffering severe or chronic injury.
This month's lecture will give you an opportunity to examine your grievances in the presence of a particular set of meditative models that are found in psychology.
As always, however, we will look at how the specific application of Harada's "Meta Ego Model" of self love and relaxed resistance to pain enhances the meditative models under discussion this month.
Emphasis, as in all discussions of forgiving at Patti's lectures, will be placed on understanding what forgiving is and what it is not, so that participants come away with an understanding that forgiving is in no way to be construed as reconciling, condoning, pardoning, letting things slide or excusing bad behavior on the part of others.
February 13, 2002: Valentine's Day: Grief and Grace
He often hates Valentine’s day because he’s certain he’s going to be martyred like the original St. Valentine if he doesn’t come through with the right thing; She often hates the day because she fears his resistance. And both of them find anticipating this "day of love" stressful. Still others find themselves without a love to celebrate.
Patti Harada, instructor of the University of Arizona’s Psychology of Love & Spirituality classes, will talk this month about the coping with Valentine’s Day, and offer some insights about how the conflicts arise and how to get back to comfort!
Patti’s relationship lectures talk about how our biology creates and supports the phenomenon of giving, and how certain spiritual disciplines can create a health promoting balance in how, when, where, why and what we give and open opportunities for the most longed for -- and most feared -- experience of receiving.
February 20, 2002: Side Effects of loss: Depression This seminar gives us a chance to talk about the complications of trauma, including shame, anger, resentment, depression and chronic misery.
We talk about all of these side effects as normal aspects of grieving trauma and loss that are valuable and which provide the potential for life changing experiences.
In this week’s seminar, we will focus on specific ways to go about giving these powerful feelings a place of honor in our lives, and talk about how to make a companionate relationship with them so that the experience of pain remains healing and constructive instead of degrading to the quality of our day to day existence.
February 27, 2002: Reverence for our Grief
Trauma brings with it an intense awareness of what we’ve lost, and a deep fear that we’ll never find a way to repair the rips in the fabric of our lives so that we can make a place of contentment for the future.
Regrets of missed opportunities, mistakes made by ourselves and by others, and plain old bad luck, clutter our views of ourselves and our views of what life has to offer us, and can leave us believing we’ve nowhere to go.
In this week’s seminar, we will summarize the philosophy of having reverence for pain and suffering as a value to be revered, and will talk about how to go about it in a health-promoting, self-loving manner that takes us out of the gibberish mentality of phony spirituality and into the grounded reality of living, growing, changing and loving unconditionally.
3RD of April from 7 to 9 pm - Clearing Blocks to Forgiving
The Meta Ego model of healing just happens to produce a state of forgiving.
It does so by applying compassion toward oneself until one’s safety creates the automatic reaction of reframing the incident.
Because forgiving is such a misunderstood discipline, and because doing it incorrectly can create complications to your grief, an emphasis is placed in this seminar on learning to recognize what forgiving is not. Each month we discuss various models of forgiving in light of what works and what can be hazardous to your health and well being.
This week we will talk about how one goes about finding forgiveness for oneself. Come and learn what peace can be found in your own love.
10TH of April from 7 to 9 pm - Chronic Relationship Conflicts
Chronic relationship conflicts are brutal to life. Our attachment to each other – or more accurately, the way in which we attach to each other – is, at once, the most important contribution to good health, and the most disastrous.
What is she to do when she so fervently needs to be heard and the one(s) she loves turn a deaf ear? How is she to resolve the issues most affecting her when there is no one there to hear and respond and consider what she is saying?
What is he to do when, to the very core of his being, he needs silence in order to function? How is he to get the space he needs to consider his problem if there is no peace?
And how do these individuals manage to work out their difficulties together when their communication needs are so different?
This lecture, formerly given on the first Saturday of each month, will look at the problems experienced by many who are working to make their relationships work in a seemingly unworkable environment of differences.
17TH of April from 7 to 9 pm - Depression made safe.
This seminar gives us a chance to talk about the complications of trauma, including shame, anger, resentment, depression and chronic misery. One complication often overlooked is that of depression. Sometimes we allow depression to overwhelm us, and other times we try to eradicate it from our lives instead of finding ways to explore its healing properties.
We talk about all of these side effects as normal aspects of grieving trauma and loss th at are valuable and which provide the potential for life changing experiences.
In this week’s seminar, we will focus on specific ways to go about giving this powerful experience of depression a place of honor in our lives, and talk about how to make a companionate relationship with them so that the experience of pain remains healing and constructive instead of degrading to the quality of our day to day existence.
24TH of April - Exercises in Reverence
As we proceed through life, we often become intensely aware of what we’ve lost, and can develop a deep fear that we’ll never find a way to repair the rips in the fabric of our lives so that we can make a place of contentment for the future.
Regrets of missed opportunities, mistakes made by ourselves and by others, and plain old bad luck, clutter our views of ourselves and our views of what life has to offer us, and can leave us believing we’ve nowhere to go.
In this week’s seminar, we will summarize the philosophy of having reverence for pain and suffering as a value to be revered, and will talk about how to go about it in a health-promoting, self-loving manner that takes us out of the gibberish mentality of phony spirituality and into the grounded reality of living, growing, changing and loving unconditionally.
1ST of May from 7 to 9 pm - Fear of Forgiving
The Meta Ego model of healing just happens to produce a state of forgiving.
It does so by applying compassion toward oneself until one's safety creates the automatic reaction of reframing the incident.
Because forgiving is such a misunderstood discipline, and because doing it incorrectly can create complications to your grief, an emphasis is placed in this seminar on learning to recognize what forgiving is not. Each month we discuss various models of forgiving in light of what works and what can be hazardous to your health and well being.
This week we will talk about the fears we have of forgiving, and how to use self love as a tool for gently easing ourselves into the peace that true forgiveness brings.
8TH of May from 7 to 9 pm - Grief about Mom
Some of us have lost our moms to death, and we grieve moment by moment at seemingly inopportune times that she is not here to share with us the myriad experiences of our lives.
Some of us have lost our moms to alcohol, drug abuse and various forms of insanity, and find ourselves grieving deep inside and often unconsciously that mom isn't here – and never was here – to share the meaning of our lives.
Mother loss is horrendous and impacts every nuance of our lives.
This lecture will provide an opportunity to look at our relationships with mom, and our losses of mom, through Patti Harada's Meta Ego model of resolving unresolvable loss.
15TH of May from 7 to 9 pm - Chronic relationship conflicts: Loving too much?
Chronic relationship conflicts are brutal to life. Our attachment to each other – or more accurately, the way in which we attach to each other – is, at once, the most important contribution to good health, and the most disastrous.
For many of us, loving others has blotted out our ability to see ourselves. Others have blinded themselves to their need for love in order to find ourselves in the first place.
Love and attachment are central to our well being. Patti's talk this night will provide an opportunity to examine the way you love, and will provide you with tools for maintaining a self in the midst of your deepest attachments.
22ND of May from 7 to 9 pm - How dream work heals
When trauma and grief are great or experienced over a long period of time, the work of coming to peace is complicated and tedious.
Dream content becomes a very useful tool during this process because they offer significant symbols for identifying where we are in our healing process, and what our specific obstacles and fears are.
This lecture will present Robert Johnson's model for dream interpretation and will show how the use of active imagination with dream symbols can work to bring us to a deeper sense of peace..
29TH of May from 7 to 9 pm - When someone you love won't get help
When you are a sensitive and caring person, and you've spent some time in life working on your own issues, you become painfully aware of the manifestation of self hatred, denial, rationalizations and self justification in others. You literally find yourself watching those around you destroying their lives.
Often our best efforts at giving aid to those we love produces friction in our relationships and a head strong resistance in our loved ones to anything we have to offer. It may create the loneliest feeling in the world, as you surmise that the more you heal the less likely it is you'll be able to stick around and watch the spiral downward.
Our current culture talks a lot about this phenomenon called "co dependency" and many take themselves to task for being "so co-dependent".
Come join us as we talk about the difference between this "co-dependency" and healthy, natural caring, and find out how to apply the Meta Ego model in a way that promotes quality relationships.
26th of June - DREAMS AND ACTIVE IMAGINATION
Lectures from 2000
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